Our Journey Together: October 2009

So, It has been forever... I apologize. I have been having a hard time coming back "here". When I started this blog it was to keep everyone updated about things that were going on with my pregnancy and the baby. Since I lost the baby and God gained her it has been a struggle. I just don't know what to say on "here". I have been on idle as far as my blog is concerned. For that I am truly sorry. Please forgive me. : )

What have we been up to lately?

I successfully potty trained Garrett. Woot Woot! Started the Monday after Labor Day and he has got it down to a ~t~ now. My gosh that first couple days I thought I was gonna go crazy. I didn't think I was going to be able to get through it. AS SOON AS (I mean it) I got him off the toilet from "trying to potty" he would pee his pants. I was pulling my hair out. I got this chart with stickers for potty training. Each time he'd pee or try to pee he'd get a sticker for himself and for the chart. He was into the sticker chart thing but, could care less about the pottying. It was hairy but, I made it through and he is POTTY TRAINED. Sweeet!

~I love this pic of G at his grandma Sharry's.~

When I was pregnant with Garrett and found out he was going to be a boy. Of course, I was excited but, didn't understand why everyone kept telling me, "Oh, you just wait." "Boys are pains!" I was just like yeah, yeah whatever. Didn't really pay attention. But, now I am starting to understand. This past couple days I have felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I had to take Garrett to the ER on Wednesday night. He was playing on the floor, spinning around in circles on his hands and knees, being a "BOY", and popped his arm out of the socket. He couldn't move his right arm and so to the hospital we went. He had Nursemaid's elbow. They popped it back in and he was all better. He kept telling all the nurse's and doctor's "I better, I better!" He is a little mockingbird these days and repeats everything he hears. Yesterday, we managed to skim by with out the hospital but, had not 1 but, 2 bloody lips! I thought I was going to lose it at the end of that day. Whew! He is in to EVERYTHING! I have had to call poison control. He got into the Rol-Aids and thought they were candy. Needless to say; All the medicine is now LOCKED up. Please tell me it gets better?? If it doesn't I think I am probably gonna have a heart attack. Other than that he is a vibrant little boy. He is growing like a weed. Loves his 4wheeler, his bike, and all his cars and trucks. Really, I'm kinda sad he is growin' up. The time has just flown by.

This year has been extremely hard to say the least. I have found myself angry, sad, hurt, and honestly, doubting My God. This has been the hardest year of my life. It feels like every time I turn around something is happening. I wander "What I did so bad?" and "Why?" quite often.
I lost my baby girl and that was really hard. It's hard to remember when I am down in a pit God's blessings. He blessed her by taking her home to Heaven (who doesn't want to call that home), he spared her from numerous surgeries, a lot of pain. She will never be hurt now. I do hold on to thought of the day she will be in my arms again. I have hope!! That is how I get through the days. How I am able to cope with her passing. RIP Baby girl! Mommy loves and misses you very much.

~Lori and Jordan~

Now, Lori was diagnosed with Stage 4 GI Signet ring Cancer. She is fighting for her life right now against stupid cancer. She was scheduled for a total hysterectomy a couple weeks ago. They were thinking originally that it was ovarian cancer but when they went in to do the hysterectomy discovered that it was far worse than they thought and it wasn't in the "female organs" (although it covered them) after all. They ended up only removing the ovaries and leaving the rest. They figured out that it originated in the GI tract. Being that it is in the GI tract it is an inoperable cancer and Chemo would be the only treatment. She had her 1st Chemo treatment last Thursday. She is still in the hospital but working on coming home. She has to eat and get her strength up to sustain herself before they will let her go home. She has so much pressure and pain in her stomach that it is hard to eat. She is struggling. Her mouth is covered inside with blisters from the Chemo which is also making it hard to eat. Yesterday, she ate a lot more than normal and spent the entire night last night throwing up. It hurts really bad that she is going through this. She is young(42) and has a 6 yr old little boy. She should not be dealing with this. She should be at home with her little boy. Watching him grow and be a child. Cancer decided to ease in and try to take over. But, Guess what. You will not win. We will fight and you will not take this mother away from her child. You will not rob this 6yr little boy of his mommy.

~Lori and Jordan again~

Sandra and I have created a facebook prayer group for Lori. We would love it if you joined us in praying for the healing, peace, and strength of Lori. I will add the link when I figure out how. : )

Also, Sandra has put together a prayer group by email and I am soooo excited about that too. It is AWESOME!! Hi Ladies! If you would like to join us just email me or leave me a comment and I'll get you added to the list.